I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you’ve probably misunderstood what I said.

When you counsel someone, you should appear to be reminding him of something he had forgotten, not of the light he was unable to see.

Too often we fail to pause for clarification, thinking that we understand something before we do. In doing so, we miss the opportunity to grasp the full significance of an idea, an assertion, or an event. Asking “Wait, what?” is a good way to capture, rather than miss, those opportunities.

Wait, what?” is first on my list of essential questions because it is an effective way of asking for clarification, and clarification is the first step toward truly understanding something — whether it is an idea, an opinion, a belief, or a business proposal. (It’s probably not a good idea to ask this question in response to a marriage proposal. Just saying.)

"Ok," he said, "I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you."

Excuse me for troubling your capraesque lives with this first-ever note of moral unclarity.

You really need to get clear about what you can sacrifice and what you absolutely will not sacrifice.

In almost every instance, it is better to ask clarifying questions first and to argue second. Before you advocate for a position, be sure to ask “Wait, what?” Inquiry, in other words, should always precede advocacy.

If I seem unduly clear to you, you must have misunderstood what I said. — <i>Speaking to a Senate Committee in 1987, as quoted in the Guardian Weekly, November 4, 2005.</i>

"Clarifying the Way" means that we determine the point we should aim at throughout our lives, based on the self that is only the self and life that is only life. This is the sole great matter, and this is what "completing the sole great matter of one's life" means. True practice begins at this point.

"In a word if you tell me you have a personality problem I am not certain until I know you better whether to say "Good!" or "I'm sorry." It depends on the reasons. And these, it seems, may be good reasons, or they may be good reasons."

If a person makes a statement that you think is wrong — yes, even that you know is wrong — isn’t it better to begin by saying: “Well, now, look. I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Let’s examine the facts.” There’s magic, positive magic, in such phrases as: “I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.

Your problem,” he said, “is you keep trying to answer the question.” “Isn’t that the point?” I said. “No, Barack,” Axe said, “that is not the point. The point is to get your message across. What are your values? What are your priorities? That’s what people care about. Look, half the time the moderator is just using the question to try to trip you up. Your job is to avoid the trap they’ve set. Take whatever question they give you, give ’em a quick line to make it seem like you answered it…and then talk about what you want to talk about.” “That’s bullshit,” I said. “Exactly,” he said.

Let me assure you that my intent is not to offend or merely be provocative. I'm simply worried.