time does not heal all wounds; it just gives them space to sink into the subconscious, where they will continue to impact your emotions and behavior. what heals is going inward, loving yourself, accepting yourself, listening to your needs, addressing your attachments and emotional history, learning how to let go, and following your intuition.

"they asked her,

"can time heal you?"

she answered,

"you are the key to healing, not time. hurt, trauma, and dense conditioning will continue sitting in your mind, impacting your emotions and behaviour, until you go inward. what heals is a self-love, learning to let go, self-awareness, and building new habits."

(intention)"

Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.

heaviness comes from hanging on tightly to emotions that were always meant to be ephemeral. it is not easy to let go, especially when all we know is attachment. we want things to last forever and we turn difficult moments into long-lasting pain simply because we have not learned to let go. we have not learned that the beauty of living comes from the movement of change. letting go does not mean that we forget, and it does not mean that we give up. it just means that we are not letting our present happiness be determined by things that happened in the past or by things we wish to happen in the future.

We’re expected to go back to work immediately, keep moving, to get on with our lives. But it doesn’t work that way. We need time to move through the pain of loss. We need to step into it, really to get to know it, in order to learn

We need time to move through the pain of loss. We need to step into it, really to get to know it, in order to learn

It is only shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.

Dabrowski argued that fear and anxiety and sadness are not necessarily always undesirable or unhelpful states of mind; rather, they are often representative of the necessary pain of psychological growth. And to deny that pain is to deny our own potential. Just as one must suffer physical pain to build stronger bone and muscle, one must suffer emotional pain to develop greater emotional resilience, a stronger sense of self, increased compassion, and a generally happier life. Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments. It’s only when we feel intense pain that we’re willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be failing us. We need some sort of existential crisis to take an objective look at how we’ve been deriving meaning in our life, and then consider changing course.

After years of being taught that the way to deal with painful emotions is to get rid of them, it can take a lot of reschooling to learn to sit with them instead, finding out from those who feel them what they have learned by sleeping in the wilderness that those who sleep in comfortable houses may never know.

If you hold back on the emotions — if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them — you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

Only time can heal your broken heart. Just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.

Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go.

Become fluent in the language of letting go. Learn to give people up before they hurt you beyond repair. Even if they tell you that they will change. Even if they tell you that they love you. Just remember, love isn’t meant to be permanently damaging. Love is meant to aid your healing.

Stop trying to heal yourself, fix yourself, even awaken yourself. Let go of letting go. Stop trying to fast-forward the movie of your life, chasing futures that never seem to arrive. Instead, bow deeply to yourself as you actually are. Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your deepest longing, your fearful thoughts...are not mistakes, and they aren't asking to be healing. They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly, in the loving arms of present awareness.