As children, we are taught what I call Emotional English. This is an emotional language we are taught in our homes, and just like our spoken language, the emotional language we speak most fluently as adults is the one we learned as children. What we are taught about interacting emotionally with each other and the world is modeled for us by our families, and is what we will grow up doing. No matter how frustrating , damaging, and frightening it is, we will perpetuate the examples of our parents and family — unless we can learn new ones. The tricky thing is that a person can go to school to learn a new language, we can find classes anywhere, in any town, but how do we learn a new emotional way of relating to our lives, loved ones, and most important, to ourselves?

Part of me loves and respects men so desperately, and part of me thinks they are so embarrassingly incompetent at life and in love. You have to teach them the very basics of emotional literacy. You have to teach them how to be there for you, and part of me feels tender toward them and gentle, and part of me is so afraid of them, afraid of any more violation.

JOHN: I’ll tell you a story about myself. Do you mind? I was raised to think myself stupid. That’s what I want to tell you.

CAROL: What do you mean?

JOHN: Just what I said. I was brought up, and my earliest, and most persistent memories are of being told that I was stupid. “You have such intelligence. Why must you behave so stupidly?” Or, “Can’t you understand? Can’t you understand?” And I could not understand. I could not understand.

CAROL: What?

JOHN: The simplest problem. Was beyond me. It was a mystery.

CAROL: What was a mystery?

JOHN: How people learn. How I could learn. Which is what I’ve been speaking of in class. And of course, you can’t hear it. Carol. Of course, you can’t. (Pause) I used to speak of “real people,” and wonder what the real people did. The real people. Who were they? They were the people other than myself. The good people. The capable people. The people who could do the things, I could not do: learn, study, retain ... all that garbage – which is what I have been talking of in class, and that’s exactly what I have been talking of – If you are told ... Listen to this. If the young child is told, he cannot understand. Then he takes it as a description of himself. What am I? I am that which cannot understand. And I saw you out there, when we were speaking of the concepts of...

CAROL: I can’t understand any of them.

JOHN: Well, then, that’s my fault. That’s not your fault. And that is not verbiage. That’s what I firmly hold to be the truth. And I am sorry, and I owe you an apology.

"Adults, in their dealing with children, are insane," he [Ed Ricketts] said. "And children know it too. Adults lay down rules they would not think of following, speak truths they do not believe. And yet they expect children to obey the rules, believe the truths, and admire and respect their parents for this nonsense. Children must be very wise and secret to tolerate adults at all. And the greatest nonsense of all that adults expect children to believe is that people learn by experience. No greater lie was ever revered. And its falseness is immediately discerned by children since their parents obviously have not learned anything by experience. Far from learning, adults simply become set in a maze of prejudices and dreams and sets of rules whose origins they do not know and would not dare inspect for fear the whole structure might topple over on them. I think children instinctively know this," Ed said. "Intelligent children learn to conceal their knowledge and keep free of this howling mania."

sorrow makes us all children again-destroys all differences of intellect. the wisest know nothing.

Je condamne l'ignorance qui règne en ce moment dans les démocraties aussi bien que dans les régimes totalitaires. Cette ignorance est si forte, souvent si totale, qu'on la dirait voulue par le système, sinon par le régime. J'ai souvent réfléchi à ce que pourrait être l'éducation de l'enfant. Je pense qu'il faudrait des études de base, très simples, où l'enfant apprendrait qu'il existe au sein de l'univers, sur une planète dont il devra plus tard ménager les ressources, qu'il dépend de l'air, de l'eau, de tous les êtres vivants, et que la moindre erreur ou la moindre violence risque de tout détruire. Il apprendrait que les hommes se sont entre-tués dans des guerres qui n'ont jamais fait que produire d'autres guerres, et que chaque pays arrange son histoire, mensongèrement, de façon à flatter son orgueil. On lui apprendrait assez du passé pour qu'il se sente relié aux hommes qui l'ont précédé, pour qu'il les admire là où ils méritent de l'être, sans s'en faire des idoles, non plus que du présent ou d'un hypothétique avenir. On essaierait de le familiariser à la fois avec les livres et les choses ; il saurait le nom des plantes, il connaîtrait les animaux sans se livrer aux hideuses vivisections imposées aux enfants et aux très jeunes adolescents sous prétexte de biologie ; il apprendrait à donner les premiers soins aux blessés ; son éducation sexuelle comprendrait la présence à un accouchement, son éducation mentale la vue des grands malades et des morts. On lui donnerait aussi les simples notions de morale sans laquelle la vie en société est impossible, instruction que les écoles élémentaires et moyennes n'osent plus donner dans ce pays. En matière de religion, on ne lui imposerait aucune pratique ou aucun dogme, mais on lui dirait quelque chose de toutes les grandes religions du monde, et surtout de celles du pays où il se trouve, pour éveiller en lui le respect et détruire d'avance certains odieux préjugés. On lui apprendrait à aimer le travail quand le travail est

College Psychology 101 explained that children cannot learn when they are hungry, smelly or teased.

Children have no use for psychology. They detest sociology. They still believe in God, the family, angels, devils, witches, goblins, logic, clarity, punctuation, and other such obsolete stuff. When a book is boring, they yawn openly. They don't expect their writer to redeem humanity, but leave to adults such childish allusions.

is unspeakably more foolish to care to learn nothing of our nature except that we possess bodies, and only to realize vaguely that we have souls, because people say so

We shall never learn to feel and respect our real calling and destiny, unless we have taught ourselves to consider every thing as moonshine, compared with the education of the heart.

<i>SADNESS OF THE INTELLECT:</i> Sadness of being misunderstood [<i>sic</i>]; Humor sadness; Sadness of love wit[hou]t release; Sadne[ss of be]ing smart; Sadness of not knowing enough words to [express what you mean]; Sadness of having options; Sadness of wanting sadness; Sadness of confusion; Sadness of domes[tic]ated birds, Sadness of fini[shi]ng a book; Sadness of remembering; Sadness of forgetting; Anxiety sadness...

One reason alone is enough for today, and that reason lies in the national misconception of what constitutes education. All of your lives you have been trained to believe that your mental equipment consisted of learning how to memorize a multitude of facts. This is what I call parroting a man. To my mind, this inadequate concept of education is the crime of the age.

We’re born knowing how to trust our instincts, how to breathe deeply, how to eat only when we’re hungry, how to not care about what anyone thinks of our singing voices, dance moves, or hairdos, we know how to play, create, and love without holding back. Then, as we grow and learn from the people around us, we replace many of these primal understandings with negative false beliefs, fear, shame, and self-doubt. Then we wind up in emotional and physical pain. Then we either numb our pain with drugs, sex, booze, TV, Cheetos, etc. Or we settle for mediocrity. OR we rise to the occasion, remember how truly mighty we are, and set out to relearn everything we knew at the beginning all over again.

We may say, for instance, that nearly two-thirds of them cannot read or write. This but partially expresses the fact. They are ignorant of the world about them, of modern economic organization, of the function of government, of individual worth and possibilities, — of nearly all those things which slavery in self-defence had to keep them from learning.