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“ ”If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity.
Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz
We made love like two coiled up fire hoses. When there’s no fire in the romance, why not act like a couple of sleeping snakes?
When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, “You want me to wear a condom?!
I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.