I mean they don't seem able to love us just the way we are. They don't seem able to love us unless they can keep changing us a little bit. They love their reasons for loving us almost as much as they love us, and most of the time more.

have you noticed that when you feel the urge to change someone, what you really want is for them to behave more like you?

"If you tell someone you love him, and that person says 'Well, I don't love you," is that a reason for you to suffer? Just because someone rejects you doesn't mean you have to reject yourself. If one person doesn't love you, someone else will love you. There is always someone else. And it's better to be with someone who wants to be with you than to be with someone who has to be with you.

It’s vital to remember that you can’t change others unless they want to change themselves. You can influence them and facilitate change, but you can’t make them change. And they’ll only decide to change when they have an incentive – such as a better life or a better relationship with you. If they don’t identify a problem with their way of being, they won’t be motivated to change.

We have to be what we are, so we don’t have to present a false image. If you love me the way I am, “Okay, take me.” If you don’t love me the way I am, “Okay, bye-bye. Find someone else.” It may sound harsh, but this kind of communication means the personal agreements we make with others are clear and impeccable.

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.

Change is actually what you need to avoid.
Assimilation is much more joyful than conformity,
when you try to change you try to fit yourself to other people's standards.
You deny your own values and opinions, and you adopt a personality that isn't you.
And most likely you will be more uncomfortable even though it may seem like you fit in more, i would suggest you not to change. Just be yourself, the way you are.
Because that's what makes you different and distinguishable and unique from every other individual.

people change only when they feel they don’t have to. There’s a healthy (and effective) way to help your partner move in the direction of positive change. But it starts with who they want to be, not who you want them to be.

You cannot change someone using fear, degradation, humiliation, or by comparing them to others. It can only be done through love, with love, for love.

People think you want them to do something or say something special...you don't. You just want them to be themselves, so you can be yourself.

You don't need to change the world; you need to change yourself.

"Often when you go into a relationship with someone you like, you have to justify why you like that person. You only see what you want to see and you deny there are things you don't like about that person. You lie to yourself just to make yourself right. Then you make assumptions, and one of the assumptions is "My love will change this person." But this is not true. Your love will not change anybody. If others change, it's because they want to change, not because you can change them. Then something happens between the two of you, and you get hurt. Suddenly you see what you didn't want to see before, only now it is amplified by your emotional poison. Now you have to justify your emotional pain and blame them for your choices."

You can't really love someone else unless you really love yourself first.

You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don't waste your time on anything else.