"I think it is cruel to expect the constant presence of any one family member (to tend to the ill). Just as we have to breathe in and breathe out, people have to "recharge their batteries" outside the sickroom at times, live a normal life from time to time; we cannot function efficiently in the constant awareness of illness. I have heard many relatives complain that members of the family went on pleasure trips over weekends or continued to go to the theater or movie. They blamed them for enjoying things while someone at home was terminally ill. I think it is more meaningful for the patient and his family to see that the illness does not totally disrupt a household or completely deprive all members of any pleasurable activities; rather, the illness may allow for a gradual adjustment and change toward the kind of home it is going to be when the patient is no longer around...The family too has a need to deny or avoid the sad realities at times in order to face them better when their presence is really needed."

When someone is telling you their story over and over, they are trying to figure something out.

time. Then you can relax. Philosophically, patience is like a muscle that must regularly be used, it must be exercised and trusted. If we don’t practice using the muscle in little, everyday situations — such as letting the tea take a minute or two to heat in the microwave — we won’t have a strong muscle to support us through life’s bigger challenges.