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“ ”He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse.
Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz
A can’t in a can — it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love.
Love like you owe nothing, and pay in full.
Every guy says he's not like every guy, thus proving he is like every guy. Show me a guy who's different, and I'll tell you to stop pointing at me.