I guess I did it because I knew what desperation felt like.

Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius.

I'm sentimental — I know. I'm desperate and silly — I know that too. Oh, help me!

keep fresh before me the moments of my high resolve.

I have done that', says my memory. I cannot have done that — says my pride and remains unshakeable. Finally — memory yields.

I keep remembering — I keep remembering. My heart has no pity on me.

Remembrance of things past, I do that all the time.

Are you enjoying your suffering? You must be, to hold on to it so tightly.

What I remember most of those times is that poverty creates desperation, and desperation creates violence.

I still feel the need of some imperishable bliss.

Friend, lay hold with a desperate grasp, ere it is too late, on Freedom, on Tranquility, on Greatness of soul!

If I become overconfident I will recall my failures. If I overindulge I will think of past hungers. If I feel complacency I will remember my competition. If I enjoy moments of greatness I will remember moments of shame. If I feel all-powerful I will try to stop the wind. If I attain great wealth I will remember one unfed mouth. If I become overly proud I will remember a moment of weakness. If I feel my skill is unmatched I will look at the stars. Today I will be master of my emotions.

Hold fast to the diary from today on! Write regularly! Don't surrender! Even if no salvation should come, I want to be worthy of it every moment.

I was willing to yield to nostalgia, that melancholy residue of desire.