Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like <i>Eat, Pray, Love</i> or <i>Pride and Prejudice</i> or my personal favorite, <i>Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea; A Clinical Study</i>. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.

That's how children deal with terror, they fall asleep.

Instead, parents just have to be good enough. They have to provide their kids with stable and predictable rhythms. They need to be able to fall in tune with their kids’ needs, combining warmth and discipline. They need to establish the secure emotional bonds that kids can fall back upon in the face of stress. They need to be there to provide living examples of how to cope with the problems of the world so that their children can develop unconscious models in their heads.

Giving our children rest means being their safe harbor, their place to retreat when life hurts and the world looms large and people disappoint and mistakes are made. Becoming that safe harbor means being free ~ freely available, freely offered, freely welcoming.

"I don't know how these couples do it, spend hours each night tucking their kids in, reading them books about misguided kittens or seals who wear uniforms, and then reread them if the child so orders. In my house, our parents put us to bed with two simple words: "Shut up." That was always the last thing we heard before our lights were turned off. Our artwork did not hang on the refrigerator or anywhere near it, because our parents recognized it for what it was: crap. They did not live in a child's house, we lived in theirs."

Whatever their temperament, if children are part of your life, encourage them to pause for a moment at the end of the day (or at any other natural interval, such as the last minute before the school bell) to remember what went well and think about things that make them happy (e.g., a pet, their parents’ love, a goal scored in soccer). Then have those positive feelings and thoughts sink in.

Parents stand in the place of God to their children to tell them what they must do and what they must not do with firmness and perfect self-control. Every effort made for them with kindness and self-control will cultivate in their characters the elements of firmness and decision.... Fathers and mothers are in duty bound to settle this question early so that the child will no more think of breaking the Sabbath, neglecting religious worship and family prayer than he would think of stealing. Parents’ own hands must build the barrier.

If you are a parent, you will need enough courage not to interfere. Open doors of unknown directions to the child, so he can explore. He does not know what he has in him, nobody knows. He has to grope in the dark. Don’t make him afraid of darkness, don’t make him afraid of failure, don’t make him afraid of the unknown. Give him support. When he is going on an unknown journey, send him on with all your support, with all your love, with all your blessings. Don’t let him be affected by your fears. You may have fears, but keep them to yourself. Don’t unload those fears on the child because that will be interfering.

You can sit down with that fearful child inside and be gentle with him or her. You might say something like this: “Dear little child, I am your adult self. I would like to tell you that we are no longer a baby, helpless and vulnerable. We have strong hands and strong feet; we can very well defend ourselves. So there is no reason why we have to continue to be fearful anymore.

Seven billion who need to be kept happy, and docile, until the end. How do you do that? What's the best way to calm down a scared kid, get them to go back to sleep? Tell them a story. Some shit about Jesus or whatever.

As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than we already do. We need less guilt and more awareness of how the quality of the parent-child relationship can be used to promote our children’s emotional and cognitive development.

Having a good time together is the essence of lovingness and the best means of increasing it.

Boys and girls need chances to be around their father, to be enjoyed by him and if possible to do things with him. Better to play fifteen minutes enjoyably and then say, 'Now I'm going to read my paper' than to spend all day at the zoo crossly.

Parental trust is extremely important in the guidance of adolescent children as they get further and further away from the direct supervision of their parents and teachers. I don't mean that trust without clear guidance is enough, but guidance without trust is worthless.

Don't worry about trying to do a perfect job. There is no perfect job. There is no one way of raising your children.

Crying it out. Also known as Ferberizing (named for Dr. Richard Ferber), the method works like this: At bedtime, while your child is sleepy but still awake, put him in the crib, give a gentle pat, a soft “I love you,” and then leave the room. Cue the crying (you knew it was coming). And here’s where the going gets tough: Let your tot cry for a full five minutes (it’ll seem much longer). Then go back in and repeat the original routine — a quick pat, a gentle “good night,” and go. Repeat this process for as long as your little guy cries, extending the time you leave him alone by about five minutes each time until he falls asleep. Stretch the times your child spends on his own by a few more minutes the second night, and again on the third. You can expect the crying jags to diminish steadily over three nights, and — drumroll, please — virtually disappear somewhere between the fourth and seventh night, replaced perhaps by a bit of fussing or a short burst of tears. The next sound you’re likely to hear? Nothing . . . except maybe a tiny snore.

Getting your little one used to longer daytime naps may increase the chances for a better night’s sleep for you.