I also discovered how much I could learn from listening to other people’s stories — even people who at first blush didn’t seem like the kind of people you could learn much of anything from

The most important things to say are those which often I did not think necessary for me to say — because they were too obvious.

When people realize they’re being listened to, they tell you things.

It was my first real awareness that not everyone in this world will like us, or accept us, that we’re often cast aside at the very moment we most need to be included.

While I used to get angry and frustrated at people because of the choices they made, I came to realize that they weren’t intentionally acting in a way that seemed counterproductive; they were just living out things as they saw them, based on how their brains worked.

There was no one for you to impress and no one for you to offend. You were right there and I was afraid of how real you were, which made me question my own level of authenticity. I'd take off my clothes on the beach or spill my guts to a girl I'd never met on the bus, thinking I was uncensored and open, but I wasn't always real if I wanted someone to like me. I gravitated to those who withheld or told me who they thought I was.

I began to draw an invisible boundary between myself and other people. No matter who I was dealing with. I maintained a set distance, carefully monitoring the person’s attitude so that they wouldn’t get any closer. I didn’t easily swallow what other people told me. My only passions were books and music

As the new work fills my notebooks, I've come to realize that the characters in my stories were so real because I really did want to get close to people, I really did want to know them. It was just easier to do it on paper, one step removed.

I came to the conclusion that people were just peculiar, I withdrew from them, and never thought about them until I was forced to.

I still find that a willingness to be honest — especially about things that one might be expected to conceal — often leads to much more gratifying exchanges with other human beings.

However, I’ve also learned not to waste time on people who have no interest in what I have to say, or why I say it.

I began to follow all of my thoughts and was surprised how many didn't belong to me. And how many had threads to ancestors, relatives, strangers, even plants, elements, and animals.

Doing as others told me, I was Blind.

Coming when others called me, I was Lost.

Then I left everyone, myself as well.

Then I found Everyone, Myself as well.

As I learned from these extraordinary people, my life grew exponentially. I became who I am because when I was broke and struggling, I made it a point to consistently seek out and listen to people who were just a step ahead of me. I’d take in their wisdom, assimilate the lessons, and grow. Then I’d level up, make new connections, and learn from people a step ahead from that level. And on and on. Over time, I even managed to heal the social isolation I was feeling and instead become an expert on company culture and tribe building.