Judith Martin

She only maintains that it is possible, under some circumstances, for a lady to murder her husband; but that a woman who wears ankle-strap shoes and smokes on the street corner, though she may be a joy to all who know her and have devoted her life to charity, could never qualify as a lady.

We are all born rude. No infant has ever appeared yet with the grace to understand how inconsiderate it is to disturb others in the middle of the night.

Making Others Feel Comfortable.

Oh, I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t.” “I’d love to, but I’m afraid it’s impossible.” “Unfortunately, I can’t, but I hope you can find someone.” It

Miss Manners’ attitude is that it is better to bar the door to unwanted guests than to back them out through it.

when all of life is a costume party, costume parties are no longer possible.

Miss Manners hereby absolves everyone from feeling any embarrassment deliberately imposed by others.

Conversation consists of developing and playing with ideas by juxtaposing the accumulated conclusions of two or more people and then improvising on them. It requires supplying such ingredients as information, experience, anecdotes, and opinions, but then being prepared to have them challenged and to contribute to a new mixture.

GENTLE READER:
You, sir, are an anarchist, and Miss Manners is frightened to have anything to do with you. It is true that questioning the table manners of others is rude. But to overthrow the accepted conventions of society, on the flimsy grounds that you have found them silly, inefficient and discomforting, is a dangerous step toward destroying civilization.

Then there was the time that Mrs. Grover Cleveland attempted to engage a tongue-tied guest in conversation by seizing on the nearest thing at hand, an antique cup of thinnest china. “We’re very pleased to have these; they’re quite rare and we’re using them for the first time today,” she is supposed to have said. “Really?” asked the distraught guest, picking up his cup and nervously crushing it in his hand. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” said the hostess. “They’re terribly fragile — see?” She smashed hers. Mr.

Lady” is not used before the lady’s first name unless she is the daughter of a duke, marquess or earl; those who come by the title through marriage use it before the husband’s name. Fortunately,

"The President of the United States is addressed by nickname (his or his enemies') before the election and "Mr. President" after taking office. Everybody else in Washington is styled "The Honorable" to make up for what everybody outside of Washington calls them."

It is, indeed, a trial to maintain the virtue of humility when one can't help being right.

The correct British peer would no more dream of using his own title than he would of using his own umbrella, although he carries both and is proud of their age.

you never give anything below your own taste level — something you wouldn’t want, but suppose is good enough for others.