Bill Watterson

The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

Calvin: Look, a dead bird!
Hobbes: It must've hit a window.
Calvin: Isn't it beautiful? It's so delicate. Sighhh... once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary, and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that...which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's very confusing. I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up.
Hobbes: No doubt.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

"Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.”
"See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?”
“Sure, I’m hungry too

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambition is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential — as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.

You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them.

To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar?

Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.

"I'm a misunderstood genius."
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius."

People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.

HOBBES:
Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?